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Lady Windermere's Fan

by Oscar Wilde

Still, I should go to Homburg, dear, I really should. She is just a little too attractive. But where is Agatha? Oh, there she is: [LADY AGATHA and MR. HOPPER enter from terrace L.U.E.] Mr. Hopper, I am very, very angry with you. You have taken Agatha out on the terrace, and she is so delicate.

HOPPER. Awfully sorry, Duchess. We went out for a moment and then got chatting together.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [C.] Ah, about dear Australia, I suppose?

HOPPER. Yes!

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Agatha, darling! [Beckons her over.]

LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma!

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Aside.] Did Mr. Hopper definitely -

LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. And what answer did you give him, dear child?

LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Affectionately.] My dear one! You always say the right thing. Mr. Hopper! James! Agatha has told me everything. How cleverly you have both kept your secret.

HOPPER. You don’t mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, then, Duchess?

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Indignantly.] To Australia? Oh, don’t mention that dreadful vulgar place.

HOPPER. But she said she’d like to come with me.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Severely.] Did you say that, Agatha?

LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Agatha, you say the most silly things possible. I think on the whole that Grosvenor Square would be a more healthy place to reside in. There are lots of vulgar people live in Grosvenor Square, but at any rate there are no horrid kangaroos crawling about. But we’ll talk about that to-morrow. James, you can take Agatha down. You’ll come to lunch, of course, James. At half-past one, instead of two. The Duke will wish to say a few words to you, I am sure.

HOPPER. I should like to have a chat with the Duke, Duchess. He has not said a single word to me yet.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. I think you’ll find he will have a great deal to say to you to-morrow. [Exit LADY AGATHA with MR. HOPPER.] And now good-night, Margaret. I’m afraid it’s the old, old story, dear. Love - well, not love at first sight, but love at the end of the season, which is so much more satisfactory.

LADY WINDERMERE. Good-night, Duchess.

[Exit the DUCHESS OF BERWICK on LORD PAISLEY’S arm.]

LADY PLYMDALE. My dear Margaret, what a handsome woman your husband has been dancing with! I should be quite jealous if I were you! Is she a great friend of yours?

LADY WINDERMERE. No!

LADY PLYMDALE. Really? Good-night, dear. [Looks at MR. DUMBY and exit.]

DUMBY. Awful manners young Hopper has!

CECIL GRAHAM. Ah! Hopper is one of Nature’s gentlemen, the worst type of gentleman I know.

DUMBY. Sensible woman, Lady Windermere. Lots of wives would have objected to Mrs. Erlynne coming. But Lady Windermere has that uncommon thing called common sense.

CECIL GRAHAM.

Page 18 of 38
  • Biography
  • Plays:
    • A Woman of No Importance (39 pages)
    • An Ideal Husband (54 pages)
    • Lady Windermere's Fan (38 pages)
    • The Importance of Being Earnest (38 pages)
    • Salomé (21 pages)
    • The Duchess of Padua (39 pages)
    • Vera, or the Nihilists (34 pages)
    • A Florentine Tragedy (7 pages)
    • La Sainte Courtisane (4 pages)
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    • Lord Arthur Savile's Crime (21 pages)
    • The Canterville Ghost (19 pages)
    • The Portrait of Mr. W. H. (19 pages)
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